"Don't laugh. I learned to enjoy life from a little rose."

My name is Rachel, I'm 31, and I live in Austin. As I write this, I'm leaning back on the couch, sipping ginger tea and watching the rain fall outside. Thinking back to how my friend's eyes widened when I mentioned the rose toy to me a few days ago, I realized that many people still think of it as, "Isn't it just a sex toy?" Actually, that's not the case.

To be honest, the first time I used a rose toy, I was a little nervous. A little curious, but mostly... an urge to treat myself to something nice. The other day, I was browsing the Vibelush website and came across this thing that looked exactly like a real rose. The color was soft, the shape was round, and it wasn't ostentatious, but you could tell at a glance it wasn't just for show.

I hesitated for a second when placing the order, but my hand didn't shake when I paid. Honestly, I just wanted something that felt like it was mine—no explanations needed.

Not all toys are just toys.

I used to be a little resistant to, even dismissive of, these kinds of things. I thought, "Let's talk about it later," "This feels awkward," "Does anyone really use this?" And then, all at once, I was completely slapped in the face.

The rose toy isn't like other intimidating or noisy devices; it's quiet and lightweight. Crucially, it doesn't rely on vibrations, but rather a suction-like airflow. It doesn't hit you with everything all at once—it kind of teases you in, nice and slow.

I'm not someone who gets easily turned on, but it's really... quite sensible.

Using it isn't about "replacing someone," but about returning to myself.

I need to be clear about this. I don't see the rose toy as a tool to "kill boredom" or as a "sex substitute." It's more like a flower that stays by your side when you finally listen to your body.

Sometimes, I'm so exhausted after a day that I don't even want to touch my phone. But as I slowly learned to turn off my phone, my mind, light a diffuser, turn off the lights, and then take out this little rose—And honestly, my body was like, ‘Girl, this is exactly what you needed.’

You have to take good care of it, just as it takes care of you.

To be honest, I'm a lazy person, but when it comes to cleaning my rose toy, I’m probably more serious about it than I am about doing laundry.

If you’re wondering how to clean rose toy the right way—here’s what I do: after every use, I rinse it with warm water and then wipe it with an alcohol-free intimate care spray, focusing on the suction port—that's where invisible residue tends to hide. Don't be afraid to rub it gently in a circular motion with a cotton swab; it really doesn't take more than a few minutes.

Don't submerge it completely in water, no matter if it says it's waterproof—this isn't a bath toy. If water gets into the electronics while you're washing it, it could damage it. Rinse, wipe dry, air dry, and finally store it in a breathable storage bag. Just like you would store your skincare products.

I've noticed that I've started to treat myself more gently.

I don't use my rose toy every day. But it made me realize a very real truth: I can find happiness that's all my own, without having to please anyone or expect others to "understand me."

Even if I'm alone, I can still have a little evening ritual: a bath, music, a glass of wine, and then quietly closing the door to begin my own exploration time.

It doesn't replace anyone; it simply reminds me: You can be soft with yourself, no one else required.

A few words about my choice

I chose the most basic model, the red one that looks most like a flower. Vibelush also has other lines, like heated ones, dual nozzles, and remote controls... If you're new to it, I recommend starting with the simpler ones. Don’t overthink it—just find the one that feels right.

Just don’t forget this part: learning how to clean rose toy properly is just as important as choosing the right one. That’s what keeps it safe, comfortable, and ready for next time.

Do you really need it?

I don't know. Everyone's pace is different. Some people might not be interested at all, while others, like me, might start out simply curious and eventually find a connection with their bodies.

But if you're experiencing emotional ups and downs, fatigue, or simply want to do more for yourself... consider it. It's not about having a high for its own sake, but about telling yourself: You deserve to be treated tenderly.

Finally, don't hide your shame.

I used to be afraid of being discovered and misunderstood. But now, I can talk about rose toys with friends over coffee, even sharing my little tip: "It's best not to stand up immediately after using one, hahaha." I no longer feel like there's anything "off-limits."

We've learned to fight for our wages, speak up for our rights, and get angry for our friends. So why the hell should we feel weird about wanting a little pleasure?

In short, a rose toy is a rose that truly belongs to you. It's not about romance, lust, or impulse; it's a quiet, gentle agreement between you and yourself.

Like I said — don’t laugh, it was really from this little rose that I began to seriously learn to love myself.