I've always been pretty reserved when it comes to sex — honestly, a bit shy. My friends would crack sex jokes all the time, but whenever the conversation turned to masturbation or anything erotic, I’d just laugh it off and quickly change the subject.

Until one day, at a girls’ night, I heard them raving about the Rose Toy, and that totally flipped the way I looked at masturbation.

That night, while sipping wine, my friend Lucy pulled this small pink toy out of her bag like it was a big secret. “Girls, you HAVE to try this. It’s been a highlight of my life lately,” she said with a grin. We all leaned in, looking at this little rosebud-shaped thing — half curious, half giggling. She started describing it, saying it’s way more precise than any finger and even called it “a direct hit to the nerve endings.” My cheeks turned red, and in the back of my mind I was like, “Wait… am I missing out on something?”

On my way home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’m not against sex — I’ve just never had the guts to really face my desires. I’d tried a few regular vibrators before, but honestly, they felt kind of meh — more curiosity than pleasure. The Rose Toy felt different. It looked cute, sure, but what really got me was the way my friends talked about it — like it changed everything.

When I finally decided to order one, I actually hesitated for a second before clicking “Buy.” My hands were literally shaking — not from nerves, but excitement.

The day it arrived, I planned it out. Afternoon, home alone, sunlight pouring in. I took a hot shower, slipped into my favorite loose pajamas, and got completely relaxed. It honestly felt like I was getting ready for a date — except the date was with myself.

When I unboxed it, I studied the buttons like I was decoding something. Long press to turn on, short press to switch modes — easy. I held it in my palm first, and the soft little buzz immediately made my heart race. I took a deep breath, leaned back against the headboard, and slowly ran it up my inner thigh, inching closer to the spot, almost like testing the waters.

The second it touched my clit, my whole body jolted. The feeling was nothing like fingers. It wasn’t that harsh, mechanical kind of buzzing you get from regular vibrators — it was concentrated, gentle, and deep, like a tiny swirl right on my nerves. At first I teased around it, circling, letting the sensation slowly build.

My breathing picked up. My hips started lifting on their own. It was pure, physical reaction — no overthinking, no guilt. I used to think masturbation was this “private little secret,” but right then, I felt none of that. It was more like, “This is my body, and I’m finally exploring it.”

I turned up the intensity. The Rose started sucking harder, like a tiny mouth locked onto my most sensitive spot, hitting every single nerve ending. My legs squeezed together without me even thinking about it. I closed my eyes and just let the waves roll through me. No one watching, no need to perform — this was just between me and me.

The orgasm hit me hard — it started deep and shot through my whole body. I grabbed the sheets and even let out a small moan without meaning to. When it was over, I leaned back against the headboard, breathing hard, brain blank. All I could think was, “I didn’t even know my body could do that.”

After that, my view on masturbation completely shifted. The Rose toy turned out to be more than just a toy — it was like a key that unlocked a part of me I’d never fully explored before. I started taking my pleasure seriously for the first time. It even changed how I approached sex with my partner. I knew what I liked, what rhythms worked best for me, and I felt way more comfortable communicating that.

I started experimenting too. Using it in the shower with warm water running down my body? Next-level relaxing. On tired nights, I’d put it on the lowest setting and just let it slowly build, almost like a personal massage. Every time felt a little different, but one thing stayed the same: I was learning more about myself.

Honestly, sometimes I’m just glad I finally took that leap. If it wasn’t for that girls’ night, I’d probably still be stuck in the mindset that masturbation is “just for fun.” Now it’s something personal I genuinely look forward to — kind of like my little ritual.