After that night, I started to take myself seriously

My name is Lena. I’m 36, living in the suburbs of Chicago. I’m a mom of two and work part-time as a library assistant. My daily life is simple — I send my kids to school, work, buy groceries, cook, wash clothes, put away toys… over and over again.

To be honest, I haven't seriously thought about what "I" really need for a long time. I realized I hadn’t truly felt alive in a long time.

I am not a person who will easily follow the trend, especially for those popular online products. I always feel that the more highly praised something is, the more likely it is to be exaggerated. But you know how it is — your guard drops the most late at night.

It was Friday night, and the children were all asleep. I scrolled through my phone until the early morning and saw someone anonymously chatting about rose toy in the forum. I was just looking at it casually, but the more I read, the more curious I became. They were being real — not like some ad copy, but actual honest experiences. They talked about "release", "body awakening", "no need to please others"... These words hit the deepest part of my heart at once.

At that moment, I realized I hadn’t truly felt alive in a long time.

To be honest, I was a little scared at first.
I hesitated for three whole days before placing the order. The feeling was complicated: there was expectation, shame, and a little sneaky excitement. As a mother and an adult, I knew I shouldn’t feel “guilty” over a little toy, but I kind of did.

On the day the product arrived, I deliberately waited until the child fell asleep before unpacking it. Vibelush's packaging has no exaggerated patterns or tacky slogans — just like a delicate daily necessity. This made me relax a little bit. At least I didn’t feel like I had to stash it like contraband.

That night, I locked the door, turned off the lights, sat by the bed, and opened it.

I thought I would be too nervous to use it. But unexpectedly, it was a very gentle experience — not that sudden jolt of excitement, but starting from the slightest sense, pulling you out of your tight shell little by little.

I didn’t have the dramatic scene of “instant climax” in the movie, but a sense of relaxation that gradually spread out. It felt like finally taking a deep breath after holding it in for way too long.

It's not just pleasure, but the beginning of "rebuilding a relationship with yourself"

Many people may think that rose toy is just for "pleasuring yourself", but after experiencing it, I understand that what it really brings is a "feeling of returning to your own body".

We women really neglect ourselves too easily, especially after becoming a mother. You are busy for others every day — for your children's lunch, for work emails, for your husband's clothes — but you don't do anything for yourself.

I always said "no time" before, but in fact, I didn't realize that I also deserve to have "space for myself".

That feeling is really hard to describe — not for anyone, not because of loneliness, but simply wanting to get closer to myself. The rose toy didn’t make me “sexier” or “more put together”, it just made me calm down and re-recognize this body.

To be honest, the design of the vibelush series is quite thoughtful. There are no extra functions, no strange sounds, and I don't need to look through the manual for a long time. It is like a quiet, gentle companion who’s there when I’m most tired and least willing to talk.

During the period of time after using it, I began to change slowly

I began to pay attention to the quality of sleep, started adjusting my diet, and began to refuse social invitations that made me uncomfortable. I no longer forced myself.

You may laugh and say this is just a small toy — how can it bring so many changes? But people’s changes often start from very small things. It’s like a button that helps you open a door to the inner self.

During that time, I found it easier to say “it’s okay” to myself. I started giving myself space to breathe. I no longer think that “self-care” is a luxury, but a necessity.

Some friends also asked me how this thing works. I didn’t say too much, just said, “It made me actually enjoy being alone.” In fact, that sentence is enough.

I began to understand that "pleasure" is not shame, but a kind of freedom

Our generation has been taught to be “sensible” and “moderate” since childhood — especially women. Being too relaxed gets labeled as “improper”, and paying too much attention to your body is called “selfish”. But those ideas really shouldn’t bind us anymore.

Pleasure is never a sin, but a kind of freedom every grown woman deserves. The rose toy didn’t make me “better”, it just made me see that I was already good.

Now I leave at least one night a week for myself. Take a bath, light an aromatherapy candle, play some favorite music. I don’t necessarily use it every time, but I know I have that choice. And just having that option — to stop and care for myself anytime — felt like freedom.

If you are also experiencing some kind of fatigue, maybe you can give yourself a chance

I don’t know if everyone feels the same, but if you’re like me and often feel “empty”, “numb” or “tight” in life, maybe the Rose Toy could be that shift for you.

It won’t change the world, it won’t solve all your problems, but it may help you listen to the voice of your body more and regain the feeling of “yourself”.

I never thought I’d find a way back to myself through something so small.

Conclusion: Tenderness is not a luxury, but a daily routine

We’re all learning to be better mothers, wives, daughters, and employees — but don’t forget — you belong to yourself first.

The rose toy from the vibelush series is just a small fragment of my life, but it made me realize that the body and the heart are actually waiting for us to look back.

If you want, you might as well give yourself a night. Turn off your phone, put down your schedule, and just let your body speak for a bit.

It speaks softly, but it never lies.